The Internet Drain Bamaged me!

Back in my undergraduate years (Yes, I am edukated), i saw this door poster that said, "When the whole world is in a mess, I am not gonna care bout my room's mess". The world is in a mess though, WAR, POVERTY, DISCRIMINATION and many many more. Confusion and misunderstandings seems to be the root to many of the worldly issues. Talking bout confusions, i thought I would write Paradoxes. Paradoxes makes me really think out of the box, sometimes even out of the world. Hahaha. There is another reason though, sometimes its absolutely hilarious to see the confused face in people and normally followed by the expression, WHAT THE FISH/FUDGE are talking you about!!! i know i do have a weird sense of humour.

So below are some of the famous paradoxes that I have come across, see if u can crack them.
What is better - eternal bliss or a simple bread?
What is better than eternal bliss? Nothing. But a slice of bread is better than nothing. So a slice of bread is better than eternal bliss.

Is it possible to give what we don't have?
Sophist: "Yes, greedy man gives his cash with sorrow. However, he doesn't have the cash with sorrow, so he gives what he doesn't have."

Shorter and Punchier ones...
Nobody goes to that restaurant; it's too crowded.
Don't go near the water 'til you have learned how to swim.
The man who wrote such a stupid sentence can not write at all.
If you get this message, call me, and if you don't get it, don't call.

So what did u think? I hope I have not mentally retarded anyone? Perhaps I should have wrote a disclaimer at the beginning, naahhh, its too late for that now....